Many years ago, before my first marriage, I read a book by Mantak Chia, called the Multi-orgasmic couple, it was a fantastic book, but at the time I was in a tantra vibe and I was giving a lot of attention to the goal, the pleasure, and not giving so much attention to the  energy and exploration of self, so I think that at that time, I missed the point of the book.

Over 15 years later I was packing my stuff, and I found this book again, and I started noticing that a lot of it is about self, self-pleasure, self-discovery, self exercises for the mind and body, and then I realized that I knew nothing, and I had to start again from the beginning.

Women are born with an immense capacity for pleasure, we are equipped to be multi orgasmic in every sexual encounter, even without penetration. We have at least 4 orgasmic points in your vagina, and when I say 4, is because those are the ones I feel and experience with, but if you research you will find many more, and all of them totally available! How wonderful to be a woman!

It is time for us to start loving ourselves, playing with ourselves and pleasuring ourselves, so we can draw our map and when the right partner comes, we can teach them how to pleasure us.

So, the first step is to go to bed, or to the bathtub, or any place you feel comfortable and will not be interrupted, put some music, bring to mind some delicious memories of fantastic sex, or fantasies you want to experiment with, and touch yourself slowly, start touching your arms, neck, face… go down to your breasts, belly, sides… skip the vagina! Go to your thighs, legs… bum and then go back up to your breast and only when you are feeling really into it, start exploring your vagina from the outside, and inside. Go back to other points, explore your entire body, notice the sensations as if you were meditating about yourself, don’t try to come, let it be, let it come to the boil, and remember this points to show your partner.

In our society we have the tendency to focus a lot on the orgasm (I know that I do) all we want is to explode, but when we explode, we loose energy. There is so much more pleasure to be experienced by learning about our bodies and the subtle sensations it can bring to us, by ourselves and by our partners.

Believe it or not, men are here to please us, Yes!!! The biggest reward for a man is to say “I gave her an orgasm” they practically come when you say that you want them. Men love to please the women they love, if you tell them with love what pleases you, they will probably do it in a heartbeat. But please remember, when a man is aroused, he is in his most vulnerable state, so you must teach him slowly, with words of encouragement, with sounds of delight, whisper things in his ears, make sure he knows you are enjoying it. If you think your partner will benefit from a proper talk, do it outside the bedroom, be compassionate with your man.

You can choose to just talk and give him a funny light sex class and make sure you don’t use examples of when he did it “wrong” and don’t compare with previous partners, I did this once and destroyed the confidence of my man. If you are feeling good with yourself, and brave enough, you can always masturbate in front of your partner, or with your partner, or better yet, when guiding your partner, you have no idea how powerful this is, and how turned on they get!

Best of luck on your self-discovery path and share your achievements