how-i-started-to-change

My story. How did I end up here?

Life can be funny sometimes. I come from a family of powerful, independent and spiritualized women, I grew up surrounded by nature, music, magic, books, freedom and woman power.

The freedom was almost oppressive, the feminism gave me fear of the responsibilities of being myself, being independent, and discovering my own power.

How funny it is that from my female nurturing home of goddesses, I decided to go look for a socially acceptable life? Who put these social believes and conditioning in our brain?

Well, I decided to make my life as society dictates, so I got married to a wonderful man, we bought a house and had a wonderful son, I was running my own business, that I loved, we had a comfortable life, I was integrated in my community with lots of friends and support, and my husband was very caring towards me and my son, I did it! I had the perfect life, I ticked all the boxes, the family, the house, the work; but I was not happy, why was I not happy? What was missing? I had no idea, but something was missing and it was calling me to go find it!

So, I decided to change, I got divorced, I thought that a new start was what I needed. Then I entered one year of self-analyzing and loving myself, then another year of experimenting and trying new things, a love and hate relationship with Tinder, and many mistakes, but it was not that, it was not the relationship, it was not a man who was going to give me what I was looking for.

Maybe it was work satisfaction? so I ended up closing my business in a turmoil of emotions, I loved my business, but it was no longer fulfilling me, and I was no longer emotionally present for it. But also, was not work fulfilment or financial security that I was looking for.

So I understood that search for meaning was what my soul was calling me for, yoga, meditation and a search for spirituality helped me, I started reading a lot and changing my lifestyle to better look after myself.

This was the moment when I realized that I was very far from my powerful female family, my family of witches, maybe this was what I needed, to go back there and see what it was that I missed?

At this same moment in life, my twin sister embarked on a journey in the opposite direction, she is a priestess, a womb mother, a wise women, that was in search for more stability in the physical world, we needed to meet again, to mix, to exchange (as a friend of hers said, we needed to blend and divide again), to encounter balance. And we are helping each other to find balance.

So, I started my journey to find my purpose, to allow myself to be who I am, and to accept who I am.

This is going to be a long journey, but from this moment forward, I will be present in sisterhood with all my beautiful sisters, helping to awaken the friendship, the sisterhood, the community inside of us, that we all need to support each other to find the beautiful goddess inside of each one of us, let’s grow together, let’s help each other, let’s hold hands and be proud of who we are.

And from this point on, we will meet in circle.

Juliana lottmann - me

About Me

Juliana Lottmann

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