How do we end up where we are? Our experiences, especially from childhood, shape us. It's not just our parents who influence us; it's also our schools, friends, and the people we encounter along the way. Whether positive or negative, these interactions leave a mark.
For example, when I was in school, it wasn't uncommon to have a board eraser thrown at you and be called stupid. If you tried to explain why you were ‘dolly daydreaming’, you'd get sent out of the room. Hearing that you're stupid repeatedly can start to stick, especially over years of education. Over time, you might even start to believe it.
Bullying is another tough experience. It leaves you questioning why it's happening, a horrid bag of rotten fish to sort through. I was bullied for many years because I grew up outside the UK in the British Army, which gave me an amazing childhood full of adventures. But when I returned to the North East without an accent, I was seen as strange and paid the price for it.
Our home and family experiences also shape us, and not everything is rosy for everyone. It's a cascading effect passed down through generations. Ineffective parenting can be handed down if parents weren't taught positive skills themselves. Do we blame? No, we change. If you didn't like how you were raised, your children likely won't either.
As children, we learn and grow through our experiences, adding layers to who we are—much like an onion. To change and gain understanding, we need to peel back these layers. This means looking at ourselves without blame or emotion, identifying areas where we want to change our behaviour, thinking, and triggers—the things that set us off.
It takes a brave person to look at themselves honestly and make changes that might upset those who prefer them as they are or reveal flaws in others. It requires courage to accept your own flaws, acknowledge them, and decide which ones are no longer useful. Some of these flaws can even be transformed into positives. This journey isn't about creating a new you; it's about understanding who you truly are. It's about changing the aspects of yourself that you don't like while staying true to your core. It's about accepting yourself as the person you are, rather than trying to fit into the mould of who you think you should be to please others.
This path isn't easy. It has its challenges and obstacles, but the rewards can be immense. You can live your life to the best of your ability, in harmony with yourself. You can develop the skills, knowledge, confidence, self-esteem, and inner strength needed to navigate a world that can often feel chaotic. This process of self-discovery and growth enables you to stand confidently in your truth, finding peace and fulfilment in being authentically you.
Embrace Your Power.. We can make these changes in a safe non judgemental space, a space that is open and safe for all to use, no matter which social group you align with, which label you've been lumbered with, here I can Hear you, your words, your thoughts, your actions. I can Hear how you want to make some things better and get rid of others, I can Hear the best bits you want to keep. I CAN HEAR YOU and You are Important
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