To truly meet myself, I had to make some brutally tough decisions. And here's the kicker—sometimes pain feels like the easier route compared to living the so-called “ideal life” everyone seems to chase. But once I understood the real me—what I wanted from life, not what everyone else thought I should want—I was ready to bulldoze anything standing in my way. Trust me, I’d waited long enough. It was time to stop putting off my real life like it was some Netflix show I’d get around to someday.
Spinelli puts it like this: we hide from who we are. We slap on masks, trying to fit in—like squeezing into jeans that should’ve stayed in 2005. We bury all the discomfort deep down in our unconscious. It’s like shoving all your emotional junk into the closet and hoping no one opens the door. But that only makes it harder to change—like trying to shift a mountain with a teaspoon. So we keep tripping over the same problems and wondering why life feels like one big game of déjà vu.
Freud comes in and says we do this because, in the past, dodging the hard stuff helped us survive. We developed these defence mechanisms, ways to cope, so we could get through life’s tough spots. But here’s the catch: these old tricks don’t fix anything; they just slap on a temporary patch. It’s like trying to fix a leaking pipe with duct tape—it holds for a while, but eventually, the whole thing bursts.
Spinelli and Sartre would argue that we go a step further: we lie to ourselves. We play the role of the ostrich, burying our heads in the sand, convincing ourselves that the things gnawing at us don’t exist. We tell ourselves everything’s fine, but deep down, we know something’s off. And until we face it, nothing changes.
Self-development isn't a walk in the park; it’s more like a demolition project where you have to rip out everything that isn’t working, even if it's been there for years. Only once you know what life you actually want can you tackle the fallout of changing course. And yeah, it’ll be messy, but isn’t living a life that’s yours worth the cleanup?
Self-reflection is like a good cup of coffee—it wakes you up to things you didn’t even realise you needed to see. Every person you meet is carrying their own story, their own little thread in this wild tapestry we call life. Some threads are messy, tangled, maybe even frayed, but each one teaches us something about what it means to be human. Every conversation, every encounter is like a postcard from the edge of existence, reminding you about what truly matters—mortality, emotions, and all the messy bits in between.
So, when you embrace the experiences around you, you’re not just learning about others; you’re piecing together the puzzle of yourself, bit by bit. Life isn’t about avoiding the bumps; it’s about driving over them with curiosity, resilience, and maybe a little laughter when you hit the occasional pothole. That’s the real journey—an adventure where you’re not just surviving; you’re thriving.
Now, as we step into adulthood, there’s this big myth that we have to do it all alone. Spoiler alert: you don’t. It’s more than okay to have backup on this ride. In fact, an independent voice with zero emotional baggage can help you cut through life’s smoke and mirrors. They’re like a GPS for your soul, helping you dodge the dead ends and find your way to becoming the real, unfiltered you.
Here’s the fun part: you don’t need to ‘find’ yourself—you’re already here, just a bit buried under the rubble of trying to live up to a world full of ridiculous expectations that aren’t even yours. Strip all that away, and you’ll see that the authentic ‘you’ has been there all along, just waiting to break free.
At Embrace Your Power, we believe that discovering yourself shouldn’t just be deep—it should be joyful, even fun. Let’s walk this road together, where every twist becomes a lesson, every challenge a stepping stone, and every laugh a reminder that this journey is yours. Grow, laugh, and empower yourself—because this is your adventure, and it’s going to be one hell of a ride!
In this Life and beyond
Liz Wilde
Embrace Your Power
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