If you're working with a therapist or counsellor, take a deep breath and lean into their guidance—they’re your co-pilot on this journey. But if you’re looking to cut out the self-sabotaging behaviour before it trips you up again, here are a few things to consider:
Dig into the Roots
First things first, let’s play detective. Look back over your life: do you have a habit of hitting the brakes right when you're about to cross the finish line? Maybe your self-sabotage streak started way back when your well-meaning (but maybe not super inspiring) parents told you, “Who are you to dream big? Stick to the script!” Those childhood messages might be replaying in your mind, convincing you to stay small.
Procrastination: The Great Illusion
Ah, procrastination—the art of delaying your dreams one Netflix episode at a time. If you find yourself putting off the important stuff, it might be less about laziness and more about avoiding the emotional discomfort of success. It’s as if the gap between where you are and what you've been conditioned to believe is so wide, you'd rather delay the leap than make it.
Studies even show that procrastination often comes down to a lack of self-regulation—basically, you're drowning in freedom and distractions, making it all too easy to hit “pause.” So, how do you stop the delay tactics? You focus on building your inner discipline and staying aware of when distractions start to pull you off course.
The Big Picture is Beautiful, But Don’t Get Lost In It
Giant goals can be inspiring, but they can also feel like standing at the base of a mountain wondering how the heck you’re going to climb it. Self-saboteurs love to get tangled in the weeds, worrying over every tiny detail until the overwhelm becomes paralysing. The trick? Break it down. Bite-sized goals keep your mind from waving the white flag.
Going for a healthier lifestyle? If you skip the gym for one week, don't throw in the towel! Just lace up and get back to it next week. It's about small, steady wins—not perfection.
Perfectionism: The Saboteur in Disguise
Speaking of perfectionism, if you’re someone who won’t budge until every last detail is flawless, you’re setting yourself up for disappointment. Instead of obsessing over perfection, shoot for progress. Excellence is a process, not an event. Each small improvement is a victory, and the journey itself is part of your growth.
Remember, Self-Sabotage is Exhausting
Here’s a thought: self-sabotaging actually takes a lot of effort. All those mental gymnastics and detours are draining. Research shows that self-handicapping is resource-demanding, which means all that time and energy spent tripping yourself up could be put to much better use. So, if you find yourself caught in the cycle, remind yourself just how much lighter and free-flowing life can be when you’re not constantly working against yourself.
By breaking free of these patterns, you're not just reclaiming your power—you’re opening up to a life that’s aligned with your highest potential. Now that's something worth not sabotaging.
Liz Wilde
Embrace Your Power
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